I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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