Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
