he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
