i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
