I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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