I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
