I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
