You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
