Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
