Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I forgot wine drunk hurts
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
