I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize