biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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