haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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