At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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