You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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