my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
