He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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