My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
