yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
