How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
