I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize