Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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