sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
