Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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