i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so that wasnt chicken after all
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
