a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
