Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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