He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
