Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
