hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
