I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
