Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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