So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
