I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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