last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize