Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize