I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
