bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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