I heard we made out
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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