Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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