honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
