we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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