Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
