wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
