i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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