I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
