Christians are straight up FREAKS
4 words: hood of his car
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
