i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
