4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You are a genius and a whore.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
