So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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