Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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