I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
