We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
