DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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