Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
