I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
