try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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